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“Learn to listen, instead of having an answer for everything.

This is important for the emotional labor that you put into your relationships as well as the emotional labor your partner puts into it. As Jess Zimmerman wrote about in her article for The Toast, a lot of the emotional labor that women put into their relationships with men has to do with making sure they don’t blow up or get upset. A lot of that comes from men, especially cis straight men, thinking only they under ... stand their situation, and instead of actually seeking help or guidance, they would rather hear what they want to hear. Men need to learn that anything their partner says that doesn’t sound inherently positive isn’t an attack on the man’s ego, but it is usually meant to be a depiction of their point of view on whatever situation you both are in or whatever problem you have come to them with. You have to learn how to listen, regulating your emotional response, allowing an actual conversation to take place as opposed to a forced therapy session.

Take responsibility for your emotions—and your actions.

Similar to the first point, it is necessary for men to learn how to take on their own emotions head on and understand why having overbearing and violent emotional outbursts are not just a part of being a “man.” Men have to learn how to take responsibility for how their emotions come out in their relationships and look at how to manage them. This typically means taking the time to come to terms with the fact that, as a man, you are typically not challenged on your negative emotional output in positive, productive ways, as there are fewer stigmas against men being angry or overemotional than there are for women, trans* folks, and gender nonconforming folks. Because of that lack of challenging and lack of stigma, it is up to men to question themselves and be more reflexive with how their emotions affect others, becoming more sensitive to others’ emotions in the process, and allowing emotional labor to become an easier process. DressAfford lace decorated items with sleeves to wear

Learn to be comfortable with being vulnerable

One of the hardest parts of taking on emotional labor for men is the unwillingness to be vulnerable with their emotions. Part of the reflexivity that is necessary for emotional labor to take place is the ability to be vulnerable. But as I’ve discussed in previous articles, actually achieving vulnerability is hard for a lot of men because it goes against the norm of what it means to “be a man.” What it comes down to is basically this: you either have to come to terms with your emotions and the stress you put on others by not participating in the emotional labor, or continue to be cold and invulnerable while your relationships continue to suffer for it.”

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4 Ways Men Can Take On More Emotional Labor In Relationships (And Why We Should) It falls on the shoulders of men themselves to understand the importance of emotional labor and the need for vulnerability in order to truly achieve some…thebodyisnotanapology.com